Last week, we sat in a room full of women. A room full of women from all walks of life joined together by a drive to make a difference, in their own lives and the lives of others. The powerful buzz resonating throughout the room set off the inspirational juices, but when Kate Hudson walked in the room it grew to another level! Her strong poise, beautiful smile and vivacious gestures radiated confidence. She talked about her life of becoming an actress, becoming a mother and becoming a business woman. Yes, ‘women can have it all!’, is her philosophy, but she is also realistic about the fact not all women are as fortunate as she has been. Everything she spoke about was universally relatable and nicely lacked the superficial attitude some celebrities may come with. She is a real woman, with a real purpose and a real message – and I walked away from it with the same inspired ‘can do’ outlook everyone deserves.
So, we women are notorious for stretching ourselves every which way, trying to do ‘everything’ – and all hail to our nurturing nature -but sometimes this can lead us down an unhealthy spiral of being run off our feet. Kate, how do you do it? Her short answer was ‘I don’t’.
“I think every woman in every walk of life, especially when you have kids and complicated relationships and you’re working, has those moments when you think you’re failing at everything and trying to keep everything afloat.” – Kate Hudson
“At the end of the day, how do we balance anything? I never feel completely balanced. And I’m still happy,” she said. Her secret lies in finding an inner freedom to be able to let the anxieties go. Yet, she does also say that “one person’s happiness is not another person’s happiness. You can’t find it for someone else. There’s no rule book.” So, really it comes down to you, and the significance of self-worth. Giving back to yourself is so important if you are ever to be your best self for others. At Family Clean we regularly hear how the simplicity of cleaning a customer’s home on a regular basis has changed their lives, giving them the freedom to focus on other important things. We all need a little help here and there, am I right? So, why don’t we just ditch the guilt and allow ourselves the freedom to breathe. “The irony is that when we take care of ourselves first, we are in a much stronger place to take care of those we love,” says Kate.
However, this is no easy feat. The outside pressure of society sometimes doesn’t allow us to switch off. Especially as woman, throughout history we have been given boxes, roles to fit in to. Yet, only when we take a stance to ditch that box, that role, can the strength, the beauty and the possibility be harnessed. “We (women) are all so different, but we’ve been put in this position where we have this idea that we all have to look the same way. And we didn’t decide that, we’ve been put in that and it’s bullshit,” Kate spoke with her stern but cheeky looking expression. Well, if Kate says it’s bullshit, it’s bullshit! Cliché, yes, but let’s start by announcing the housework should not be left up to one person, it is a joint effort of the whole household. I see it in my mum, as she comes home from work and carry’s the burden of organising and then cooking what we are going to have for dinner – this is something we have worked on as a family but even when someone else takes charge she can’t help but feel a sense of guilt. It feels as though that box, that role, has been so engrained in society that even when change occurs the natural instinct of a women is to feel bad about it. It is time we let that go.
What really came across to me throughout Business Chicks luncheon is that finding the strength to let something like this go comes from the strength in community. Kate couldn’t have said it better when she stated, “the more we connect, the more content and happy we feel.” I am the kind of person who derives energy from being around people, positive people – and I know this isn’t the same for everyone, but I do know human beings as a whole were not meant to be alone. Sure, we need our alone time, but that deeper connection with others is absolutely foundational to happiness. It comes down to a sense of being a part of something larger than ourselves.
It is amazing how cracks in this network can change our mood and daily lives, and it’s important in these moments to draw nearer than push away. “Now more than ever it’s about the community of women supporting other women,” Kate pronounced. Whether in business or in personal life sharing, and being able to have the freedom and confidence to share, is essential to this powerful connection – and coming together face to face is really (in my experience, anyway) the only way this is truly felt. Kate points out uniting in a common goal or purpose is where to start when addressing this. “There’s something to say about manifestation, when there is not another option it’s just what you’ve got to do,” she said. So, what I took from her words is that when it comes to the push and the shove, it’s just time to dig deeper again.
The hype of January and February came with a bang and March has rolled around like that old friend you haven’t seen in ages but fits in like you saw them yesterday. We are settling into our familiarity without a blink of an eye. Routine settles and, as women (or for me, anyway), our heads start over think the detail of where we might be in a couple of months or a couple of years, etc. This is where we begin feeling stretched. However, the more time I try to give back to myself – whether that’s enjoying an inspiring Ted Talk in the car on the way to work or spending five minutes with my eyes closed siting in the sun – it all helps for me to be a better person towards others. My community, my people, my tribe, has always been at the core of my identity and to keep building this up, helps to build me up too.
I hope to pass on a taste of what Kate gave me to you, and please know Family Clean is here to be your breath of fresh air, to give you a little more room to think, give back to yourself and connect with others – or whatever you please! You deserve it – and there’s no need to feel guilty about it baby!